Prone To Panic

We are all born with insecurities but I think I got a double dose. My older sibling picked up on my tendency to panic early on. No only was a a fearful child or as one of my uncles would say, a “Afraidy-Cat”, I was also an accident waiting to happen. For years, my head and scalp was covered with scars. I was jumping on Mawmaw’s picnic table when a board broke and I went tumbling. My head hit on a sharp rock: my head was always attracted to rocks and it split a gash about an inch long. Of course the blood came gushing out and I immediately went into panic mode and began screaming, “Am I going to die”. I don’t remember how many it took that day to hold me down and get me to the doctor. I’m telling, it was not an easy chore. In the old days, mother would sprinkle fly bait on the front porch and on this particular occasion, she had some that was brightly colored. It looked just like coolaid. I reached down, scooped up a handful and put it in my mouth and my brother saw me do it. He went into a victory dance chanting “You are going to die, you are going to die…you ate fly poison and you are going to die”. Guess what, I went into panic mode. I go rushing into the house spitting every step of the way. When I was not spitting, I was screaming for Mother, poor old Mother. My brother was right behind me laughing his fool head off so the first thing Mother did was scold him and send him back out and then she tried to calm me down. Guess what I was saying? “Am I going to die…Am I going to die”–Mother said, “Someday but not today”. She had me eat some butter probably for psychological reasons but it worked and I never even got a stomach ache. This same brother enjoyed torturing me. One day someone gave us a box of donuts, not Krispi Cream. Of course I grab one and chomp down consuming a third of the donut in one bit including half of the hole. My brother went into his patented victory dance, “You are going to die, You are going to die”. “Why” I exclaimed? “Because you ate part of the hole and the hole will give you cancer.” Mother was not there to straighten him out. I ate several more donuts but I ate around the hole.

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